Bummer right?
Probably if I told my friends that I had a blog page, they would consider to open one for themselves just to follow me and make me happy, but that is totally what I'm not looking for. Even though I have no followers and maybe, just maybe, 5 page viewers per day (and I swear I'm not including myself), I don't really mind because I am not ready to express myself to people yet (I don't know if that will ever happen).
Anyway, my mom told me two days ago that she doesn't think I am talented. What? Who? Me? Talented? Of course not! I have been writing for myself for about 6 or 7 years now and I never bothered to let anyone check my stuff, just because I ALSO think I'm not talented. All this started when we were arguing about my major. Yay, now you know, I'm in college. When people ask me and I tell them my major is Accounting, they look at me like I'm some kind of genius; a very nice girl that listens to her parents. But when we start going a little bit deeper in the conversation and I tell them that what I really want to do is to take Art classes, they flip out and start to yell at me. I know, I know, English is not on top of the "Perfect Major List" but why can't I at least talk about it? Honestly talking about something you really are passionate about even though it will never happen, makes you feel better because you're sharing what has been on your chest for a long time and gives some of your sadness to the audience fellows.
I think what people are really looking for these days is someone to inspire them and make them stronger, but I don't feel like I'm the "inspiration material" that's why I shut down and change everything to private, to not put in risk anyone's well being (lol?). I see all these people on the internet community ( beauty gurus, youtubers, bloggers) who are giving all these nice important messages to young teenagers and it makes me feel so little, so not ready!
Btw, I think I should break up with my boyfriend. Ugh so random right? But I'm telling you this because he just texted me and I told him that I started writing again and he didn't even ask about it, all he said was "good for you". I know I'm being very superficial, but how can you stay with a person that is not interested in something that you really love, or at least pretend to be. I don't enjoy basketball at all, but he does and whenever he talks about it (and believe me, he talks about it a lot), I listen to him for hours and I even watch games now and then to make him happy. On the other hand, this guy doesn't really care, all he says is something very random and then changes the conversation to the stupid basketball topic again. What do you say fellows should I say goodbye to him? He is a good guy and I like being with him but I don't LIKE HIM. Help?
I feel like I'm rambling and we don't want that right? So I'm just gonna get lost in
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Sayonara,
Agateophobia K.
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